A gem in our life
Did I have a gem in my life? Sadly speaking, I didn't. Since I was a young girl, I've never had a dream to do. I just have ambiguously tried to survive in this world for myself. Life seemed to vague and translucent. I am always in want of more ability to make friends and keep up with the trend.
The reason why I felt so impressed by Michelangelo Antonioni's movies is due to their emptiness and desolation. On watching them, I came to know, unconciously, at once that he was depicting my own stories. I must have lacked a gene to love someone and to be loved by others like main characters in these movies.
Regardless of being old, I become enchanted with many things differently from Confucius who announced the free from vacilation at the age of 40. On the contray, I'd rather enjoy my being tempted by men, friends, art, music and so on.
Recently, I like one man who gives the special inspiration beside himself. He is unique, full of passion and a little bit out of his mind. And it makes him special and attractive. I've never seen such a man before. I guess we have something in common. If he disappears, I won't put up with that situation. I bet I am close to death. He is a sort of Homme fatal for me.
Now, my life is overflown with emotion. Sometimes I am afraid of the excessive feeling. Wait and see until he is interpreted common to me. Is love a goal for our life. It is out of my reach. But love must be a jewel in our lonely life.
The reason why I felt so impressed by Michelangelo Antonioni's movies is due to their emptiness and desolation. On watching them, I came to know, unconciously, at once that he was depicting my own stories. I must have lacked a gene to love someone and to be loved by others like main characters in these movies.
Regardless of being old, I become enchanted with many things differently from Confucius who announced the free from vacilation at the age of 40. On the contray, I'd rather enjoy my being tempted by men, friends, art, music and so on.
Recently, I like one man who gives the special inspiration beside himself. He is unique, full of passion and a little bit out of his mind. And it makes him special and attractive. I've never seen such a man before. I guess we have something in common. If he disappears, I won't put up with that situation. I bet I am close to death. He is a sort of Homme fatal for me.
Now, my life is overflown with emotion. Sometimes I am afraid of the excessive feeling. Wait and see until he is interpreted common to me. Is love a goal for our life. It is out of my reach. But love must be a jewel in our lonely life.
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